Thank you for the info. Reading those and doing some more searches pointed me to Pi-hole and ddwrt settings - #6 by graysky2
The setting there listed for DDWRT router firmware seems to fix a few of my issues, but if I have it configured that way and I unplug my pihole entirely, machines on my network are still getting dns from somewhere.
If I use option 2 from the link you posted (How do I configure my devices to use Pi-hole as their DNS server?), it makes sense until I get to this part: https://b2discourse.pi-hole.net/original/2X/4/46c95b23878e3324e09a1a81675806f304f409e5.png
Which seems to be in conflict with setting that to "127.0.0.1#5335".
Further testing looks like wireless devices are all working properly, but my wired devices are not.