Well I finally got it working, but its showing its forwarding a lot of traffic to 1.1.1.1 (my "down wind" DNS) which the more I think about it the more I think its alright.
I need to beef up my "hole" list, 122k hits isnt enough. I have some issues that I will research, I dont wan to post them in a random thread (this one).
I should also mention that the solution is / was that Tomato has hidden DHCP services within the router. First I disabled the main DHCP, nothing happened. I think I went down to networking or routing (for sure in the "advanced" tab) and saw that wifi still had some statements in it about dhcp, I had to edit those and remove the settings then reload the router. After that, bam, routing traffic through the pi.