Is it possible to force Pi-hole to use swap?

I do the same.

Then probably more confusion ahead. Same screenshot with your list:
Screenshot from 2020-12-01 20-39-08

We're aware of this. It is an issue in network with many devices. We already have a fix for this and testing is ongoing. If you like to join the tests yourself, read this topic and use the checkout command I mentioned:

I'm also wondering how many clients you have on you network. Please share the output of the command @jfb mentioned and also the output of

ls -lh /dev/shm